So this week was a culmination of the entire year. Wednesday (yesterday) I had to have knee surgery. It was a very common procedure for the doctors and nurses, every Weds. of every week this Orthopedic doctor does these types of surgeries. My particular problem was the inside meniscus had a bucket handle tear, I have torn my ACL, and then they ended up having trim and smooth the bone. Routine to them, not so routine to me.
I realized I had been downplaying the surgery, till yesterday morning, when it hit me that I was a bit more nervous that I would ever let on. All the procedures I have been through over the years I have never been put to sleep. I might not have thought twice about it, but a dear friend several years ago went in for a routine procedure in England, she ended up with complications between the anesthesia and her diabetes. She didn't make it throuh that routine procedure. And that really hit me that morning.
I started to think about everything that I wanted to say to everyone that I love, to all the people in my life that impact me daily and those that aren't so daily. I wanted to tell everyone how I feel and what is deep down in my heart and soul. I started to write a letter before going to the hospital, but of course didn't finish it. I made it through the surgery fine, but today to solidify what I was feeling yesterday, a song came on while I was icing my knee.
A song by The Afters, "Say it Now". Here are the lyrics:
"Say it now, I hope we find a way, To say it now, don't be afraid
To say it now, everything we're keeping inside, Don't wait just let your heart speak
Don't waste another heart beat, Cause we'll never know, Until we let it out, let it out........Say it say it now, Say it say it now"
So tonight, I want to SAY IT NOW:
Thank you to my family for being consistent and supportive through all my craziness, this blog and finding my voice-I love you!
Thank you to my boys for showing me how to enjoy each and every minute of everyday.
Thank you to all the new poeple in my life this year....bringing so many different things into my life, and views.
Thank you to the old friends that are always there and never fail---thank you from this crazy friend!!
Thank you to the special people who have touched my heart and my life this year-- you are amazing!
Thank you to my dear friend who said this today: "I haven't said it enough, but I am so glad to have you in my life"
Thank you to another dear friend that said this today: "Thank you! I love you so much!"
Thank you for the experiences this year, the fun and the adventures, thank you for opening my eyes, thank you for allowing me to love people--thank you for all the opportunities to do that.
Thank you to 10,000 Hearts, Dwight Clark Fund, Ming Xu, and anything that I missed that has taught me so much!
I love you all and am so thankful to have each and everyone of you in my life. What a blessed life I live!
Here is to 2012....no regrets, nothing but prosperity, love and happiness to you all!! Follow your dreams and never take NO for an answer. And find YOUR VOICE and SAY IT NOW, you never know when it will be too late!
And to you Lorraine...we lost due to anesthesia...I will never forget you and every time I see Mt. Rainier out and I will forever hear you saying "Mt. Rainier, out in all it's glory". Thank you for that!
Praying for lives to be changed!
with love, -P