Brave and Unbroken
Incest & Child Sexual Abuse Prevention - Lifting Humans Authenticity - Lifting Voices of the Silenced   -      Follow me
  • Home
  • Podcast
  • Education
    • Antiracism
    • Published Writings
    • Media
    • BLOG
  • Resiliency
    • Be LOUD Movement
    • 7433 Days of Silence
  • Resources
    • Books for Children & Families
    • Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
    • For Teens - Internet Safety
    • For Kids Only
    • Non-offending Parent Resources
    • Disclosure? What next?
  • Shop

Memories....some things are never forgotten...

6/6/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
Amazing....I am sitting on the 7th floor of the Sheraton National Hotel in Arlington, VA overlooking Washington DC, the Pentagon, and the Potomac River.  This has been somewhat of a bitter sweet visit.  I am here for a National Psoriais Foundation Volunteer Leadership Conference and for the Psoriasis Capital Hill Day.  Tomorrow we will be over at the Capital Hill meeting with Senators and Representatives on the topic of medical funding for research for a cure for psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.

Your probably thinking, why am I talking about this here and now....well here and now is always present right???  We can put the memories, the history away, but what do we do with the here and now??
Well 26 years ago I lived in Maryland.  Yep right down the road.  We would bring our visitors here to DC to see the sites, of course it looks way different at age 38, then when your 12, but still memories none-the same.

I realized tonight that the memories have been more on the forefront of my mind then I thought.  It's been great to be away, have a break, catching up with old friends, and family, but WOW, the memories....are still there.  Have I forgave my "daddy" as I called him at the time...I have forgiven him for me.  But the pain and hurt and the memories of what happened during those times are not gone and probably never would be. 

I wanted to go to the base where we lived and drive by the house we lived in all those many years.  Decided against it.  WHY do you ask?  Probably because I don't want to know what is in me that might come out.  I am not afraid, I just have other things to focus on this trip and don't want to derail my thoughts, energy.  But as I sit here gazing at this amazing view and the night sky...the tears are streaming down my face. 

Here are some of my random thoughts:
Thoughts for a "Daddy"
Why would you choose to never be in our lives again?
Why would you make those choices -- that would cause you to never meet your grandkids?
Why did you play the games you did?  Why did you touch me with your private parts?
Why did the Army never know what you were doing to us behind those walls??  If only walls could talk.
Why did we get you as a daddy?

So many whys with no answers, but I can say that today I am free....yes these memories are here and tears are streaming down my face, but I know that I am living my best life and not letting you "daddy" rule that life any more...YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME OR MY LIFE.

Love to you all.....praying for lives to be changed.....FIND YOUR ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS.


1 Comment
pennie link
6/6/2011 08:18:52 pm

Amazing a new day--all refreshed and raring to go. I shared this last night to be transparent and open....thanks to all.

Now a new day and new missions...
have a great Tuesday!

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    September 2019
    April 2019
    November 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2015
    November 2014
    September 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011

​RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
T: 1.800.656.HOPE
Online Hotline: RAINN Online Hotline

Brave and Unbroken Project is a registered 501(c)3 non-profit. EIN: 85-1100566