One of of the blogs/FB pages that I am a member of a topic of one person's posts was "It's Not Your Fault". WOW! What a concept. Sure there are plenty of things that we do in our lives that are our fault---relationships and how they go, finances and where your at--some are controlled by you and oms are not controlled by you.
So in the world of child abuse and incest----IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, is a very hard concept. Children take ownership even though they are the child and the adult is abusing them. My biological father convinced me that if I didn't do what he said I would be the cause of him and my mother getting divorced, that if I didn't please him and make sure his needs were taken care of that I wouldn't ever see my mother again. That the house would fall apart and it would be ALL MY FAULT.
If he was having a bad day, I remember thinking, what did I do or what didn't I do...where did I drop the ball?
Games Daddy Played (my saying for all that he did):
I remember over thinking if I played all the games right, did I do all the right moves, did I play along and act interested?? If not it was ALL MY FAULT. The games were sometimes simple and sometimes not. Games that he played included sex games and doing exactly what he said to do games. You can imagine, I am sure what these games were like. Take your clothes off games, touch him--touch me games, and the list goes on....
And with all of this ---the manipulation, calculation, and violence from him caused me to continually think it's my fault.
How do we get rid of the stronghold of "ITS MY FAULT". I loved this today that was shared on this blog...."It is not your fault. The abuse was nothing you had control of, nor did you have the power to stop it. The responsibility for the abuse belongs to the abuser." Victims No Longer", By Mike Lew
If you were abused as a child by an adult----the adult is the responsible party, they are the one at fault, you have done nothing at all wrong.....and you had no power to stop it. Cildren aren't too sexy, too pretty, too "hot", too inticing, too sexual---children are not the cause of abuse--adults are!
My dream and prayers --- are to touch others around the world....helping people find their voice to share their stories---so that together we may change the world and prevent childhood sexual abuse and incest.
Love to all, praying for lives to be changed.