I think back about all the moments from my life from as far back as I can remember about age 3/4 I think. I remember some of the best memories...fun with my Mother and Brother...and even some fun moments with my biological Dad. Moments where I would be so excited that he was "daddy" at that moment and not the man that has control over my life with his sick sick mind that just wants to sexually and physically abuse and control us.
I remember him doing fun things, movies, sports, and laughing at TV shows. Not all the memories were terrible, but it's amazing how the terrible memories out weigh the good ones. So here I sit pondering all those events of my life...and how I got to this point of my life? 38 years old....a wonderful loving family, amazingly supportive friends that overlook all of my faults and love me anyways, a career--I never planned on, house, 2 kids, dog, in Washington State. Nothing that I planned on in my life....and as I think through the moments that got me here....I remember thinking I am going to have 6 kids, then there was a time I was going to have a flat in the city and be single all of my life.
What I have realized as I sit here thinking of all that has happened in my 38 years....I wouldn't be who I am without all those events. Including the abuse at the hands of my father. It was horrible, painful, stripped me of my childhood, and plenty of other things....but in the end it has made me a stronger person. Of course there are days that I don't feel so strong--as do many of the people that I talk to about their abuse. Days when you feel so strong and it doesn't matter what happens that day---you can handle it all. But of course there are the days when someone can look at you wrong and you fall apart.
What have you chosen to do with the events of your life? Are you stuck on the items of the past? Take control of your life, decide what you want out of life and make it happen.....Create your happy life!
We aren't what our situation is, we are what we decide to do with our situations. Do you decide to take the bull by the horns, take your situations and the events of your life and turn them into strength in your life, turn them into good to help others....what we decide to do with what happens in our lives is completely our decision to make.
Why all this --- what does it mean to me?? Finding My Ultimate Forgiveness....finding the sweet spot in my life where I can take what has happened to me and react and turn it into what I want my life to be. Try to find your voice and find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS.
"Its not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matter."-Epictetus (c.AD 55-c. 135) Take control---create your happy life!
Love to all, and praying for lives to be changed.