"It's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say."
Tonight as I sit here in a quiet house, everyone asleep and snoring (literally) -- the mind is working overtime!!! 

Today we received a notice at work about a gentleman that was employed there many years and passed away this morning of cancer.  This news stirred in me all day.  I didn't know his man, but many of the people I worked with did.  I had 6 people today mention this man and mentioned stories and other wonderful comments about him.  Thinking about this most of the day -- my mind went to many we have lost over the past few years-->One of my close friends' son, family members, grandparents, young officers, military soldiers, famous people...and the list goes on and on and on and on.

My mind spun all day about forgiveness and where I have come to over the years.  I had to run off to take my kids by school to drop their supplies and meet their teachers, on the way back a song came on the radio -- amazing the timing of things--and since I don't believe in coincidences----I believe that all things in life happen for a reason (even if you don't know or aren't sure of the reason. )  Maybe they should be called Godincidences?  But nothing in my opinion is a coincidence. ;)

These 2 lines feel so profound, especailly right at that moment: "It's better to say too much, hen never to say what you need to say again."  FIND YOUR VOICE!!!!

So after today's news, thinking about the one year anniversary of Dwight's death coming up, and everyone else in the world that are no longer here on earth with us---and the timeliness of this song, Did they say what they needed to say?  Did they find their voice??

Have I said what I need to say?  I have this thing with my boys that I whisper in their ear, "Know what?", they say what and I then I say to them, "I love you, did you know that??"  My youngest cracks me up, "Yes!  You tell me that every day--over and over". I love that, I love that he knows that I say that over and over.  I hope that is true for all those that I care about :)

But do I sahy all I need to?  Do I tell my friends how much they mean to me and how much I love them? Do I tell those I miss -- that I miss them?  Do I tell them often enough that they are missed?  Do I tell my husband how much he is appreciated, do I tell my family at a distance that we are thinking of them?  Do I, do I, do I? 

I love to send cards and write them out for specific people, but have I don't that enough lately, have I said what I need to say, before its too late?  And so what if I say what needs to be said over and over and over.

So I want to share with you the lyrics of this song and I think that you can take this concept and do with as you please, but please....say what you need to say, before your opportunity leaves you.

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed!!
-P

John Mayer, "Say"
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say (x8)

Walkin' like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' out the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...

Say what you need to say (x8)

Have no fear for givin' in
Have no fear for givin' over
You'd better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open (wide)

Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to say what you need to

Say what you need to say (I'll see you one day)
Say what you need to say (I'll save you)

Words of encouragement this week: "You don’t forgive to change the past. You forgive to change to future."  I love this and I love calling it "Back to the Future".  I was reading that sexual abuse and incest survivors have been stripped of their childhood and that they have to heal the inner child to continue to move forward in the healing process and to move on with their life.

Yes my childhood was a bit of a wreck at times, yes I had to be an adult way before my time, but the inner child thing makes me laugh.  Don't get me wrong I know that it works great for others and that is what they have to do, but I remember back to the first counselor I had to go to. 

Setting: 1994, January.  My brother had spilled the beans about the abuse in our home.  I had finally done my share of spilling a couple days later.  Right after that bio-dad called me at work to tell me that if I tell about what he had done to anyone when they start questioning me that he will go to prison a long time and that no one will understand and that my life will never be the same.  I remember not saying a word....he then said "please promise you will never write a book" to this day I crack up...not that I have written a book, YET, but here you go bio-donor.....blogging away, and yes--some about you.

Anyways...right after that conversation I had to go have a physical (not a fun physical either), up periscopes, probing, 3 hours of questioning, descriptions, pictures that could be deemed offensive :)  What an ordeal that was.  I can't imagine if someone had to go through that physical and questioning during or right after being abused.  That would be so tramatic. 

Then came the "special" counselor.  She actually heals sex-offenders they told me.  WOW! She must have magical powers, because I had been reading about how you really can't ever get that want out of their head.

Anyways---She met with my brother, my mother and I.  We discussed everything that had been going on.  She gave many kudos to my mother for standing up for her children...and then the infamous words, that she was hooking us up with a social worker MSW, so that we could start healing our "inner-child".  OH BOY!  That was that term.  I wasn't too thrilled about this "inner-child" thing, I have been telling the story for 5 days now to doctors, detectives, policemen, my mother, my family, etc....and now they want me to talk to an "inner-child" who is this person anyways ?!

So here we go...out to this counselors home, she practiced out of her basement and her husband was her partner.  My brother met with him and I met with her.  She heard the story (yep told it again) and then she said I want you criss-cross applesauce your legs (oh-boy).   She then proceeded to tell me to close my eyes and envision my childhood.  I stopped her and said you know really I don't want to invision it anymore.....she giggled and told me to find my "happy place" --- oh boy again.  Am I in a movie....I was waiting for the straight jacket to come in and then to be taken away.

So I did what she said, here I am criss-crossed, hands on my knees, eyes closed, head back, and she says to tell her about the moment I was in...I was 5 I think in Maryland, and was playing outside with my friends on the hill.  She says to me to craddle my arms like I am rocking a baby and start talking to myself "Pennie your a beautiful baby, your safe, your secure, your loved....Pennie your okay" OH MY GOODNESS, I started cracking up out loud.  I don't think I had laughed that loud in a long-long time.  What a crack up!!!!  She told me that this was serious and that I really needed to focus. 

I thanked her for her time....left immediately and never went back.  I don't know, wasn't for me I guess.  And to this day I think about it and crack myself up. 

My point in all this?  We all do chicken, but we all do chicken our way.  There is no definite recipe for healing, forgiveness, life, and moving on, but there is one basic standard...finding your voice, strength, and spirit so that you can overcome what the past has dealt you--so that you can change your future!!!  Who knows what the future holds....but what we can control is that the future doesn't have to hold the past ;)

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed...and for a little fun, "Back to the Future"

Eleven months ago, my life was changed forever.  Today I am not going to directly blog about abuse or forgiveness or anything directly related.  I wanted to share something that I wrote about while in Bellilngham, Wa.  For 10 days last year we frantically searched for one of my dear friends' missing son.  This blog post isn't about me directly, isn't about Dwight directly, but it's about people.

It's about how people come together in good times and bad, It's about how God puts people in our lives for a reason, even if we never know what that reason is or if you ponder the reason over and over.  I learned so much during those 10 days in and out of a hotel, tons of tears, hugging, speaking, miles of walking and searching.  In such a surreal event I can't even put words to it.  But the topic of today is "Caring People".  The post I wrote back on 10-4-2010 a couple days before his body was found.  People overwhelmed me during this time--more than I can ever express.  From those I work with at my job, family friends, total strangers.  Here it is:
10-4-2010, Pennie Saum, 11:57pm
 Sitting in the hotel room this morning.  I was really searching my heart for what was going on.  Everything seems so surreal.  A kid that is very close to our family is gone, without a trace, pretty much.  It's like watching a movie, but you have a fill-in role...if that makes any sense?  My one of my closest friends' hearts is being torn out of her chest.  His friends have come and hugges us all asking what they can do.  Locals from Bellingham have donated water, food, presents, baked goods, hotel rooms, and tons of other stuff; the out pouring from people we don't know is overwhelming -- people drove for hours to come and help on a search team, hand-out flyers and talk to people.  Many have stayed up for 14-20 hrs straight helping us search.

I realized today that I was overwhelmed with what God was doing in this situation.  Everyday we see so much of the "negative" side of what is going on in our world.  Murder, rape, child abuse, drug deaths, arson, theft, and many other bad thing.  But through Dwight's situation 18,000+ people have come together on Facebook, hundreds have come out to Bellingham, and many others via text message alerts and the internet news.

I am so overwhelmed that through this situation we, a collective group of people from so many places and faces, have proven to others that CARING PEOPLE still exist!!!

I can't thank you enough for this!  It really has slapped me in the face.  Have a great night....I will update you all tomorrow.

People need people and friends need friends  And we all need love for a full life depends  not on vast riches or great acclaim,  Not on success or on worldly fame,  But just in knowing that someone cares  And holds us close in their thoughts and prayers- For only the knowledge that we're understood Makes everyday living feel wonderfully good,  And we rob ourselves of life's greatest need  When we "lock up our hearts" and fail to heed  The outstretched hand reaching to find  A kindred spirit whose heart and mind Are lonely and longing to somehow share  Our joys and sorrows and to make us aware  That life's completeness and richness depends  On the things we share with our loved ones and friends.   -Helen Steiner Rice

Love to all.

Love the world of enrouagement I read today:  "The past is a guidepost not a hitching post".

WOW, who knew that 9 words could be so empowering?

What hitching posts from your past have you or are you still tied to?  Did someone tell you that you were fat and never going to be attractive?  Yep that was me.  Did someone abuse you and tell you - you would never see your Mother again if you told anyone?  Yep that was me.  Did you make a financial mistake in your past?  Have you wished you could go back and erase something that you said?  Have you lost a loved one and never had the chance to say what you meant to say?

Life has tons of hitching posts.  How long we decide to stayed tied up to the post is completely up to us.  All of the challenges here are on earth--in our human state--we get to decide what we want to do with the bump in the road.  Do we stay there tied up or do we untie the rope and move on--move forward??

Someone has been diagnosed with a deadly disease in which there is no cure....do they sit there and wait to die or do something wild and crazy--till the day comes?

What hitching posts are you still tied to?  I know that I have many in my 38 years.....what can you untie the rope from and make a difference in your life or someone elses?? 

Find your VOICE, find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS!!

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed.

Oh yes....the elephant....the elephant of unforgiveness.  What elephant are you carrying around? 

My elephant for many years was unforgiveness, pain, hurt, loss, grief.  The weight of the sorrow, anxiety, and caution for life, was with me every waking moment of everyday.  The pain didn't want to go away, the anger, the watching over my shoulder constantly -- wondering if he was watching from somewhere.  ":He" being my biological father.  The weight of that elephant I carried around with me for 16 years.....that doesn't include the minutes, hours, and days that the actual abuse was occuring.

The weight of an elephant --- it can weight you down, flatten your spirit, kill your emotions, level your ability to love, forgive, and can destroy your heart.  Oh the elephant of pain and suffering....childhood hurts and pain.  Some of the worse elephants that you can carry around in a lifetime.  Of course there are plenty of elephants that people carry around. 

Release the elephant in your life...forgive.....find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS and move on with your life...and life your life....and be the person that you have inside of you----find your voice, forgive, live!!!

What elephants are you carrying around?  Start now don't wait!  Find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS!!!

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed!

-P

Have you ever stopped and thought about how you got to here?  Have you thought about all the moments, laughter, trials, tribulations, fun, of your past to sit and ponder why here and why now?

I think back about all the moments from my life from as far back as I can remember about age 3/4 I think.  I remember some of the best memories...fun with my Mother and Brother...and even some fun moments with my biological Dad.  Moments where I would be so excited that he was "daddy" at that moment and not the man that has control over my life with his sick sick mind that just wants to sexually and physically abuse and control us. 

I remember him doing fun things, movies, sports, and laughing at TV shows. Not all the memories were terrible, but it's amazing how the terrible memories out weigh the good ones.  So here I sit pondering all those events of my life...and how I got to this point of my life?  38 years old....a wonderful loving family, amazingly supportive friends that overlook all of my faults and love me anyways, a career--I never planned on, house, 2 kids, dog, in Washington State.  Nothing that I planned on in my life....and as I think through the moments that got me here....I remember thinking I am going to have 6 kids, then there was a time I was going to have a flat in the city and be single all of my life.

What I have realized as I sit here thinking of all that has happened in my 38 years....I wouldn't be who I am without all those events.  Including the abuse at the hands of my father.  It was horrible, painful, stripped me of my childhood, and plenty of other things....but in the end it has made me a stronger person.  Of course there are days that I don't feel so strong--as do many of the people that I talk to about their abuse.  Days when you feel so strong and it doesn't matter what happens that day---you can handle it all.  But of course there are the days when someone can look at you wrong and you fall apart.

What have you chosen to do with the events of your life?  Are you stuck on the items of the past?  Take control of your life, decide what you want out of life and make it happen.....Create your happy life!

We aren't what our situation is, we are what we decide to do with our situations.  Do you decide to take the bull by the horns, take your situations and the events of your life and turn them into strength in your life, turn them into good to help others....what we decide to do with what happens in our lives is completely our decision to make.

Why all this --- what does it mean to me??  Finding My Ultimate Forgiveness....finding the sweet spot in my life where I can take what has happened to me and react and turn it into what I want my life to be.  Try to find your voice and find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS.

"Its not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matter."-Epictetus (c.AD 55-c. 135)  Take control---create your happy life!

Love to all, and praying for lives to be changed.

A friend posted this today:
”Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.."-Mary Manin Morrissey

What hurt do you have to release?  What fears do you have to release??  If you entertain the past, the hurts, the fear, the pain---it will continue to control and run your life.  What in your past is continuing to hold you back from a new life.  This isn't just the case for abuse/incest survivors, but if your mate has left you, a friend betrayed you, parent hurt you...any kind of pain, fear, or hurt in your past preventing you from moving on.....find your peach, find your voice, find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS.

It's interesting the more research I do...the more incest and childhood rape have touched peoples life .  There is a book called "The Source of All Things".  This book is written by Tracy Ross.   This is her memoirs.  Her story is about the abuse at the hands of her step-father and how she found her voice and her ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS!  Please read the description of her memoirs below.  Find your voice, speak your mind.....seek out your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS!! 

Tracy's story really tugged at my heart as some of the abuse that her step-father put her through my biological father did the same thing.    Specifically the nightly visits that Tracy talkes about, these were a regular occurrence.  I would work hard to pretend I was asleep and not feel or acknowledge anything he was doing to me.  I would fling my arms, somewhat hitting him, acting like I was asleep and rolling over.  Nothing I did made any difference to him, he continued these visits for a very very long time.  It's amazing what abusers will put their victims/survivors through.  Please read below, what an amazing story of forgiveness ---- Tracy Ross' "The Source of All Things". 

Tracy Ross never knew her biological father, who died after a brain aneurysm when she was still an infant. So when her mother married Donnie, a gregarious man with an all-wheel-drive jeep and a love of hiking, four-year-old Tracy was ecstatic to have a father figure in her life. A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy’s family to the joys of fishing, deer hunting, camping, and hiking among the most pristine mountains of rural Idaho. Donnie was everything Tracy dreamed a dad would be—protective, brave, and kind. But when his dependence on his eight-year-old daughter’s companionship went too far, everything changed. Once Donnie’s nighttime visits began, Tracy’s childhood became a confusing blend of normal little girl moments and the sickening, secret invasion of her safety. Tormented by this profound betrayal, Tracy struggled to reconcile deeply conflicting feelings about her stepfather: on the one hand, fear and loathing, on the other hand, the love any daughter would have for her father. It was not until she ran away from home as a teenager that her family was forced to confront the abuse—and it tore them apart. At sixteen, realizing that she must take control of her own future, Tracy sent herself to boarding school and began the long slow process of recovery.  There, in the woods of Northern Michigan, Tracy felt called back to the natural world she had loved as a child. Over the next twenty years, the mountains and rivers of North America provided Tracy with strength, confidence, comfort, and inspiration. From trekking through the glaciers of Alaska to guiding teenagers through the deserts of Utah, Tracy pushed herself to the physical limit on her way to becoming whole again. Yet, as she came into her own, found love, and even started a family, Tracy realized that in order to truly heal she had to confront her stepfather about the demons from the past haunting them both. The Source of All Things is a stunning, unforgettable story about a wounded daughter, her stepfather, and a mistake that has taken thirty years and thousands of miles of raw wilderness to reconcile. Only Tracy can know if Donnie is forgivable. But one thing is for certain: In no other story of abuse does a survivor have as much strength, compassion, bravery, and spirit as Tracy displays in The Source of All Things

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed!

Let me warn you....the topic here tonight might make some quite uncomfortable.  I talked last time about being careful who I say what around as I don't like to make people uncomfortable, but if your reading this....your reading at your own risk :)

One of of the blogs/FB pages that I am a member of a topic of one person's posts was "It's Not Your Fault".  WOW!  What a concept.  Sure there are plenty of things that we do in our lives that are our fault---relationships and how they go, finances and where your at--some are controlled by you and oms are not controlled by you.

So in the world of child abuse and incest----IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, is a very hard concept.  Children take ownership even though they are the child and the adult is abusing them.  My biological father convinced me that if I didn't do what he said I would be the cause of him and my mother getting divorced, that if I didn't please him and make sure his needs were taken care of that I wouldn't ever see my mother again.  That the house would fall apart and it would be ALL MY FAULT. 

If he was having a bad day, I remember thinking, what did I do or what didn't I do...where did I drop the ball? 

Games Daddy Played (my saying for all that he did):
I remember over thinking if I played all the games right, did I do all the right moves, did I play along and act interested??  If not it was ALL MY FAULT.  The games were sometimes simple and sometimes not.  Games that he played included sex games and doing exactly what he said to do games.  You can imagine, I am sure what these games were like.  Take your clothes off games, touch him--touch me games, and the list goes on....

And with all of this ---the manipulation, calculation, and violence from him caused me to continually think it's my fault.

How do we get rid of the stronghold of "ITS MY FAULT".  I loved this today that was shared on this blog...."It is not your fault. The abuse was nothing you had control of, nor did you have the power to stop it. The responsibility for the abuse belongs to the abuser." Victims No Longer", By Mike Lew

If you were abused as a child by an adult----the adult is the responsible party, they are the one at fault, you have done nothing at all wrong.....and you had no power to stop it.  Cildren aren't too sexy, too pretty, too "hot", too inticing, too sexual---children are not the cause of abuse--adults are!

My dream and prayers --- are to touch others around the world....helping people find their voice to share their stories---so that together we may change the world and prevent childhood sexual abuse and incest.

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed.

-P

Signs...you seem them every day right?  STOP, YIELD, 25 MILES, signs are everywhere in our world.

But have you thought about the signs around you that aren't as blatent?  Have you thought about the signs that a child needs your attention, that someone is trying to tell you something, that somthing bad is going on.  I remember trying so hard to clue someone in that I was praying that they would understand what was going on and call it out on their own, so that I didn't have to betray my biological-father--the military officer that had abused me, raped me, had sex with me, threatened me, and called me all sorts of names over the years---that maybe, just maybe someone would be clued in...that someone would say something or call him out. 

That I wouldn't have to be the bad guy---I kept thinking.....please someone take bull by the horns and call the kettle black!  I remember thinking what is wrong with all these adults in my life.....that there are so many of them in my life daily, teachers, scout leaders, youth group leaders, lunch ladies, playground monitors, friends, relatives.....WHY AREN'T THEY FIGURING out the clues that I am dropping??? Are they as manipulated as the rest of my family so much that they don't even see what he is doing??

He wants to go a ski trip with his daughter alone, he wants to take the boat out and fish alone with his daughter, things that most kids would love to get to do....most things that a father and daughter should get to do with NO STRINGS....never the case in my relationship with my father.  Not in my world....ski trip---scary, what is he going to do to me...what is he going to expect....Fishing boat trip out on the ocean---OH GOD HELP ME!!!! What is that going to be like, if I need to scream, NO ONE will hear me!

My biological father was moving out barracks that he lived in a city called Wiesbaden in Germany.  I was so excited to go and help him clean the barracks...maybe this time was different, just love me as who I am, just tell me you care, tell me you love me as your daughter, not as your sex slave, or your "fill in", or your daughter that your having sex with, or the daughter that you expect to take care of your sexual needs.

STOP AND PAY ATTENTION...what is going on around you?  What behaviours are children starting to show that are different-see what they are---DO SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING, HELP.  I am not saying that you shoudl be looking for signs of abuse around every corner, but I am saying---PAY ATTENTION!!!!

Please read some of the signs below, Love to you all, praying for lives to be changed!!!


Possible Behaviorial Signs of Sexual Abuse

Sexually-precocious or attempts to mask seductive behavior 
Hides secondary sexual characteristics 
Attempts to be unattractive 
Abnormal sexual knowledge 
Radical mood swings 
Sense of danger where he/she lives 
Change in eating habits (bulimia, anorexia, or compulsive eating) 
Inappropriately seductive 
Apparent boredom w/age peers and age appropriate activities 
Nightmares, insomnia, sleepwalking and other sleep disturbances 
Radical change in school performance for better or worse 
Fearful about certain people 
Over achievement 
Depression, crying episodes, etc. 
Substance abuse/addiction 
Expression of "damaged goods" syndrome 
Angry, hostile or aggressive behavior 
Fear of adult or adolescent 
Fear of being photographed
Anxiety reaction to authority figures 
Fear of undressing or refusal to undress in gym class 
Pseudo-mature/overly-compliant or accommodating 
Regressive, babyish behavior 
Intense efforts to gain attention/affection from adults 
Spending inordinate amounts of time in game rooms, arcades. etc 
Recruiting other children to become involved with an adult 
Suicidal thinking, gestures, and attempts 
Hints regarding sexual behavior 
Fear of nurturing/withdrawal/impaired ability to trust 
Self-mutalative behavior 
Find reasons to not go home (helping teachers, etc.) 
Neurological and verbal expressive delays 
Killing/torturing domestic animals 
Self-hatred 
Memory loss 
Runaway 
Fear of the dark 
Find reasons to not be with someone they used to spend time with (or any
change of behavior toward a friend or family member). 
Unable to concentrate, daydreaming, 'spacing out', 'in a world of their own'. 
Withdrawn, isolated, or excessively worried. 
Excessive or early masterbation. 
Starts sucking thumb or fingers (toddlers and young children). 
Becomes a perpetrator, targeting a child, sibling, or friend. 
Fear of parent leaving her. 
Inappropriate kissing in young children. 
Nervous or fearful around adults. 
Not wanting someone, including a parent, give him/her a bath. 
Imaginary friend(s) 
Bowel movement accidents in older toilet trained children.

Evening friends!  Been a while since I have been on here to post.  Tonight seemed like a good night to blog.

Things have been a little crazy....just the way I like it.  But this last 2 months have been interesting.  I have re-connected with many friends from years past... During those reconnections I realized during our conversations how many people didn't or don't know what happened back in the day.  I had reactions from "OH MY GOD!", "OH I AM SO SORRY", then "Wow, so what's the weather like in Washington", and "I am so glad you shared that with me....I have never told anyone, but......".

The one thing I realized during all of these moments with many different friends and acquaintances over the past 2 months is that I need to speak about this more.  Not because I want attention or pity, but because there are so many out there that have yet to find their voice.

One in particluar I referenced above, hasn't ever spoken of the abuse she experieinced at the hands of a grandfather, but the abuse is real and she is torn on what to do even to this day.  Her grandfather is dead, but she is carrying guilt, hate, embarassment, anger, the inability to love, and many other emotions and problems in her life day after day.

She mentioned to me that if I hadn't said anyting to her or shared this with her, she wouldn't have ever spoke the words outloud.  That made me sad.  All these years.....38 years later....she is still carrying this horrible burden.  What a terrible way to live or exist in your life.  I didn't have the answers for her, I am not smart enough nor educated enough to fix this or guide her in the right thing to do.  The only thing that came to mind at that moment to say was: "Speak your mind -- even if your voice shakes."

There are times when we want to say something, be something, stand for something, fight for something, love someone, etc......we all have it within us.  "Speak your mind -- even if your voice shakes."  And I promise you your voice will shake, and your stomach will be in knots, and you will struggle to get the words out....but DO IT! 

I honestly, have to be careful now--->  I have a tendency to over-share.  Sometimes my stories of abuse really make people uncomfortable.  I have had some people ask me to stop talking about, some turn beet-red, some just leave, and other ask for me to share more and how I have changed.  But unless you FIND YOUR VOICE and share your experiences---you can't heal, forgive, or change the lives of those around you.

First step in forgiveness....."FIND YOUR VOICE.....Speak your mind -- even if your voice shakes."

Praying for lives to be changed.  Love you all!


A quote that really hit me today that I wanted to share with you all--Thank you to all those that have touched my life and those that are impacting my life now.  The bits and morsels and large impacts that each of you have are tremendous and invaluable!

"There are those whose  lives affect all others around them.  Quietly touching one heart, who in turn,
touches another. Reaching out to ends further than they would ever know."
-William Bradfield. 

Some stats about reporting child abuse vs. how many victims there are:
In North America, approximately 15 percent to 25 percent of women and 5 percent
to 15 percent of men report being sexually abused as children. And these numbers
are low, because the number of reported cases is much lower than the number of
actual cases. Annually there are more than 2 million cases of child abuse and
neglect reported in the United States. Of these 2 million cases, approximately
150,000 to 200,000 are new cases of sexual abuse.