Her final weeks she rode in an ambulance every day, in excruciating pain, 2 blocks from the hospital for radiation. Her one last hope, that she may fight the disease that taking over her body. Her perseverance showed time and time again, how much she truly felt she had to live for, her children and her grandchildren. The same motivation that enabled her to endure so many horrific things through her lifetime.
I get asked time and time again, "how did your mother not know?' So to that I share with you one of my posts from a while ago. "Ode to My Mother."
I will never forget when the officer showed up at the house to take our first statements regarding our abuser (biological father) and the abuse we had survived, "Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" I remember thinking that if this is called lucky I would surely hate to see what bad luck looked like. But what he meant that day was that - our mother called the police, she confronted the abuser as soon as she found out and she was standing by our sides holding us up. This wasn't the norm, it was often that the mother would turn a blind eye and side with the abuser, father, boyfriend or whomever that may be. A mother standing beside her children was unusual. This officer made sure that we were very aware of how unusual this was.
And so I present to you my post "Ode to My Mother," Mother's Day 2011. Thank you. Thank you for your support, your love and your continued awakening. The time is now.
Ode To My Mother....5/11/2011
The topic on my heart tonight is my MOTHER. Yep....what an amazing woman. She has been through hell and back. To live in the house with my abusive biological father, to do everything that she could to protect her children, to be the best Mother in the world, to be there no matter what, even to this day. To be the best Grandmother on the planet. She is so full of love.
OK WAIT, your saying...go ahead...what are you thinking....how could 2 children be abused in a home and the Mother not know it's simple SHE WAS ABUSED TOO!! If you have been reading my blog you know that I didn't know my brother was being abused or that my Mother was being abused. My brother didn't know I was being abused or that my Mother was abused and my Mother had no idea that he was abusing the 2 of us. The one common theme for the 3 of us, is that we thought by taking the abuse ourselves no-one and I mean no-one would suffer. BOY WERE WE WRONG.
I will never forget that fateful night when my mother called me home from work, telling me that my brother had been abused by my biological father was abusing my brother. My brother had taken the car (no license) and gotten home too late, by the time he got home, my mother was already home from work. There she wait for him. She made a comment that if my brother didn't shape up he would have to go live with my father, and all hell broke loose. They were seperated at the time and the threat of the possiblity that my brother would have to go live with this monster sent my brother over the edge.
He began to talk to tell my mother all the terrible things that had been done to him and he continued to fill her on all the things that this terrible man had done to him. She was in complete shock. She called me I came straight home and my brother began to fill me in as well. I was fuming mad. I always thought if I had a sister that this would be the case, but not a brother. Then I couldn't bring myself to tell her he had similar to me for all these years. She was devasted. Like someone had tore her heart out of her chest and put it back. He was so manipulative, calculated,etc.....he had us all convinced that we couldn't talk about it or we wouldn't see eachother again, let's just say he was good at what he did.
SO needless to say over the next 3 days everything came out, the police came for interviews etc. The only thing to this day she always said she was trying to protect us from everything....but couldn't protect her children from the inside. She was remarkable. Unlike a lot of mother's that go through this, my mother stood by our side. Even the lawyers, judges, counselors, etc said that we were very luck that most mother's stand by the man, father, etc...never ever do they stand by the side of the kids. Can you imagine a mother not supporting their children?? I was in such shock. My mother has always been so devoted to us, can't imagine a parent not standing by their kids.
Happens more time than not I have learned.
So -- tonight's blog is dedicated to a mother that loves and cherishes her children, that is totally dedicated to them and feels so terribly guilty all of these and still about what happened. But you know what KUDOS to my mom for taking action and making a different in tow kids's lives....THANK YOU MOTHER FOR STEPPING UP AND SAVING US. We love you.
Love to all, praying for lives to be changed.