Last month I chose to face him in person. I debated, but decided facing him and saying everything that I hadn’t had the strength or the courage to say – was important for my journey and my healing. I had no idea how my physical self would respond, when I would see him.
I was prepared with the worse case scenario in my head. I laid the ground rules, to assure the lawyer would lay my ground rules down before the meeting began. I felt strong, powerful and tall. In Brave and Unbroken I shared how in the courtroom 25 years ago – he wouldn’t take his eyes off me. I decided to do the same to him, this time. The control was mine. I did not take my eyes off him. I said everything that I needed to say, everything and then I left the room.
This meeting wasn't about forgiving him or sugar coating what he had done or to give sympathy or pity to his plight.
I used this time to stand tall and to make sure he knew silence, under his control, WAS NO MORE.
Silence and shame is what keeps one hidden. Silence and shame is driven by secrets and experiences that take up so much of our mental thought, silence is crippling. Perpetrators of all types want the victim/survivor to maintain silence. Their control, grooming, abuse is all about assuring the victim remains silent.
No more. We will break the silence. We will stand tall and say NO MORE.
“Remaining quiet and hidden is no longer an option.” – P. Saum