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I can't keep quiet...

1/22/2017

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I can't keep quiet...

Yesterday, I had the privilege to stand with women, men and children of all different races, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, skin color, and the list goes on. I stood in solidarity with all different people, with all different concerns - but one thing in common - peace and wanting their voices to be heard.

For those that feel the "Women's March" didn't represent you, check out their vision and mission statement - I don't believe that your name is listed.  For those of you that want to tell me to get over it (new cabinet and president) and move on - please know I respect your thoughts, but that isn't how this works for me.  I got over many things and the abuse continued - rights were taken away - that won't happen again.  For those of you that believe that God is going to save our country from hate - please read up in the bible where the people had to come together and make things happen.  Hate happens - children are raped, people suffer and die of cancer and good people go through some pretty difficult times.

I have watched article after, article come through my newsfeed, I have seen posts from one side or the other I have seen arguments about "not my president" I have seen articles that have backed Donald Trump and his regime.  What I do know is that people deserve to be cared for, that deserve to have the ability to make decisions and they deserve to be able to decide what is best for their bodies.

For many, many years - my mind, my body and my self were not my own. I knew that physically being part of the march - little tiny me amongst the sea of 200,000 - would not only impact the numbers and the meaning, but impact myself.  I was finally standing up for what is right. 

"My mind, my body and my self wasn't my own," for many years of my life.  Many people have posted about what is right and what is wrong, how they have hated the past 8 years, and that this new cabinet and president is going to be the saving grace and there is the side that believes how much good President Obama and his cabinet has done.

What I do know, is that no longer will "my mind, my body and my self, " not be MINE.  That means standing for my rights and the rights of others around me.  That means not allowing republicans, democrats, or any person in office dictating what they believe that my rights are.  

I was raped, I was molested, I was abused - MY MIND, MY BODY AND MY SELF are NOW MINE - and for that right I will continue to fight.  I will continue to fight to assure that those I love are taken care of, that women and children have the health care and finances that they need to survive, I will continue to believe and stand next to people of color, of different races, genders, sexual orientation.  
And I will never stop standing for what is right.  I will stand with the most marginalized.  I will stand and be loud and help assure that those that are on OUR payroll are listening to the needs of the people, no matter what "side" you are on...our country is free, our country stands for freedoms, our county stands for equality - in all shapes and sizes.

I will not sit back, give this new regime a chance, I will stand up and continue to make sure my voice is heard - after all we the people are the boss of these politicians - they are not the boss of us!  STAND UP, FIND YOUR VOICE.
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She Survived, She DID

1/11/2017

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I have always wondered how best to write this post, its been chomping at my brain for years...today I decided it was just time.  

I was withdrawn most of the time. I was active, scouts, sports, school and friends.  But I was very surface.  No one really knew me and to this day I am not the easiest person to break through the walls of.

I read some words this week that finally say what I have been wanting to say for some time.  For all those in my life that don't get me, for everyone who care and aren't sure how, for the times that I have let you down and not come through, for hte moments where I shut you out, for the times where I can't explain why I handled things the way I do...maybe just maybe these explanations will help fill in the blanks, even if just slightly. I NEVER use my abuse as a crutch, I have worked hard to have the life that I have, I have tried not to take advantage of anyone or anything. There are things that are in me that are inherent, that aren't easy to break and that I can't seem to always explain.  Maybe, just maybe this will fill in the gaps.

What it means to know a girl who has lived through trauma:
"A girl who has lived through trauma has lived through a situation where her body, her mind, her self was not her own.  Where she felt disjointed, ripped from her self, safey and sanity.  It was a moment, an experience, a something where her trust was smashed, her worth was gone and all there was was pain. 

A girl who has lived through trauma is the girl who was pushed into the deep end of the pool when she didn’t know how to swim, but somehow found her way to the ledge anyway. She walked through a forest fire and didn’t succumb to the smoke, but dealt with the burns and made it out in spite of the flames. She found herself in free fall but refused to break upon impact.
She survived. She did."

SHE survived, SHE DID.


Thank you 'Thought Catalog', for the article.  
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