Oh boy!!! Forgiveness, definitely not the easiest in all that you do and all that you are. We are human and wea re not
wired for forgiveness. I wanted to share some stuff for you to work through you grieving...you literally have to grieve the abuse, you have to go through the phases of losing a child, you have to grieve the loss of a parent. You have to be able to move through the phases.
Tonight I want to share with you Dr. Frederick Luskin's Forgive For Good. He discusses 9 steps that could help you with forgiving...and working through the steps to get there---for release for good, to forgive. The time is now, don't wait --get through the steps!! Check out his 9 steps to forgiveness and take what you want and leave what you don't. This isn't just for being abused, can be hurt by a partner, loss of child, ---anytime someone is hurt and needs to forgive. Please take it from me, takeit from someone who bitterness and anger and poort me engulfed my life, please take it from me....find in yourself to make it through the grieving and get through to forgiveness....you are going to be soooo thankful!!!!
Dr. Frederick Luskin, Forgive for Good. He discusses that despite what we may have heard about forgiveness "journeys," there are really only two steps in the process: grieving and letting go. Grieving, after you have been wronged, means letting yourself feel the anger, hurt, and trauma in all its original pain—but not indefinitely. "After about two years, most people have had plenty of time to process," Luskin explains. "Then they're ready to move on."
Not moving on—hanging on to resentment and rage—is tantamount to having an existential tantrum, according to Luskin. "We think the world owes us," he says. "But it doesn't. Babies die when they're born. Women are raped. Whole ethnic groups are wiped out. There's no such thing as fair. The guy who loses a parking space to a more aggressive driver thinks, "I want that parking space." A mother whose child has been murdered thinks, "I want my child to be alive." Either way, that's sometimes just not how it works."
A ripple of shock runs through the room. How can anyone compare losing a parking space to losing a child? "It's better not to get caught up in content," Luskin says. By content he means each person's individual story, the source of her anger or hurt.
No matter what the offense, he continues, the process of forgiveness is the same: You let go of anger and hurt by being mindful and focusing on gratitude and kindness. Again, the ripple runs around the table. That's it? A little mindful meditation and all is forgiven? Luskin smiles wryly. "Forgiveness concepts are simple," he says. "It's the execution that's hard."
Please message me if you have questions, thoughts, ideas---whatever you need help with?? What can I do to help you find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS....
love you all, praying for lives to be changed.
wired for forgiveness. I wanted to share some stuff for you to work through you grieving...you literally have to grieve the abuse, you have to go through the phases of losing a child, you have to grieve the loss of a parent. You have to be able to move through the phases.
Tonight I want to share with you Dr. Frederick Luskin's Forgive For Good. He discusses 9 steps that could help you with forgiving...and working through the steps to get there---for release for good, to forgive. The time is now, don't wait --get through the steps!! Check out his 9 steps to forgiveness and take what you want and leave what you don't. This isn't just for being abused, can be hurt by a partner, loss of child, ---anytime someone is hurt and needs to forgive. Please take it from me, takeit from someone who bitterness and anger and poort me engulfed my life, please take it from me....find in yourself to make it through the grieving and get through to forgiveness....you are going to be soooo thankful!!!!
- Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
- Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
- Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
- Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years – ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
- At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight or fight response.
- Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the “unenforceable rules” you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
- Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
- Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
- Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
Dr. Frederick Luskin, Forgive for Good. He discusses that despite what we may have heard about forgiveness "journeys," there are really only two steps in the process: grieving and letting go. Grieving, after you have been wronged, means letting yourself feel the anger, hurt, and trauma in all its original pain—but not indefinitely. "After about two years, most people have had plenty of time to process," Luskin explains. "Then they're ready to move on."
Not moving on—hanging on to resentment and rage—is tantamount to having an existential tantrum, according to Luskin. "We think the world owes us," he says. "But it doesn't. Babies die when they're born. Women are raped. Whole ethnic groups are wiped out. There's no such thing as fair. The guy who loses a parking space to a more aggressive driver thinks, "I want that parking space." A mother whose child has been murdered thinks, "I want my child to be alive." Either way, that's sometimes just not how it works."
A ripple of shock runs through the room. How can anyone compare losing a parking space to losing a child? "It's better not to get caught up in content," Luskin says. By content he means each person's individual story, the source of her anger or hurt.
No matter what the offense, he continues, the process of forgiveness is the same: You let go of anger and hurt by being mindful and focusing on gratitude and kindness. Again, the ripple runs around the table. That's it? A little mindful meditation and all is forgiven? Luskin smiles wryly. "Forgiveness concepts are simple," he says. "It's the execution that's hard."
Please message me if you have questions, thoughts, ideas---whatever you need help with?? What can I do to help you find your ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS....
love you all, praying for lives to be changed.
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